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怀孕四个月了，老公竟然逼我去流产

发布日期：2013-08-21 10:25:10编辑：Chen

 两年前的一次被强暴的经历，让吕菲朵退学、自闭、吸毒，自暴自弃，生活充满阴暗，直到网上遇见比自己小三岁的男友丁冬。虽然他还只是个学生，但他的包容和关心，让她觉得似乎找到了真爱。两次怀孕，一次次地考验他们的感情，最后成了闹剧一场。是坚持要当单身母亲，还是为了摆脱纠结而冒健康的险，她在痛苦中迷茫……

1.惨烈伤痛，独自承受

2008年秋天的某一天，我在学校接到一个很好的朋友的电话，她准备去外地待一段时间，想让我送送她，一起去火车站。我很爽快地答应了，由于火车是早上的车次，我必须很早起床，先去同学家找她，再一起出发。

清晨六点半的吴家山，某条小路上，我越走越觉得凉飕飕的。卖早点的小摊贩刚开始出摊，冒出热腾腾的气息，我挨着墙边走，空气中有薄薄的雾，我并不知道，影响我一生的灾难就要发生了。

突然，几个男人从我身后冲出来，抢我的包。出于本能，我紧紧拉住包，不放手。他们疯了似的掐住我的脖子，把我拖着往后走，一直拖到了一条巷子里。我拼命挣扎呼救，也抵不过他们的力气……最后朦胧的一眼，是我看见一个路人，拿着两根油条，茫然地看了我一眼，然后匆匆走过去了。我的呼救，绝望而无力。眼前一黑，什么都不知道了。

醒过来的时候，周围都是人。我的衣服穿在身上，松松垮垮的，衣服上有血，我不知道那是哪来的，只是走路感觉到下面疼得钻心。我站起来，咬着牙跑了。

医院里，医生看了看我的身体，只是一边叹气摇头，一边开药方。我躺在那里，眼泪一直一直地掉。我只记得那是三个男人，而他们长什么模样，我脑海里一片模糊。

回到家里，我把所有的窗帘都拉上，把门反锁，我蹲在地板上，有时候哭，有时候就那样麻木地坐着。

这是我一个人的家，我的父母在外地做建材生意。当初，妈妈为了陪我，在这里守着我念大学。后来我独立生活能力强了，父亲的生意又忙，妈妈就过去帮忙了。生活、读书，我一向很乖的，为什么命运要这样对我呢?

我打电话，对妈妈歇斯底里地哭，我说，反正我不读书了。我读不进去，我不想去学校，是的，我哪里都不想去!

妈妈说，都大四了，你为什么不能坚持?我就是憋着一口气，要把那伤痛独自咽下去。求你了，妈，就让我自己在家呆着吧。

她拗不过我，只好依从我。

2.网络缘分，找到初恋

我在家里，可以一个星期都不出门，也可以一个星期都在外面疯狂地泡酒吧。有一次，一个女孩神秘兮兮地掏出一个东西，她笑着问我，想不想尝尝?

我知道那是毒品，他们叫打沙，打沙的人都会狂热地跳舞，他们大汗淋漓地发泄情绪，然后忘记烦恼。

我试了一下，感觉很不错，明明知道这是不对的。但是人生中有什么对不对呢?我一直那么乖地在走好自己的路，可是为什么要降临给我无限的痛苦。

我吃得越来越多了，反正父母愿意给我钱花，而我也在亲戚的工厂里做了一份管理的工作，每个月几千块的工资，自己过得去。

那段时间，几乎每天都有人找我玩这个东西，有时候去打沙，有时候去溜果子。清醒的时候，我也觉得这样沉溺下去特别不好，就拒绝那些朋友。但一个人的无聊和寂寞，又把我的心勾得痒痒的，忍不住又去玩……周而复始，总是控制不了自己。

直到认识丁冬，我觉得这样的生活，坚决不可以过下去了。

网络上，我真的很诧异。那么多的网友，居然我们俩在同一个城市，而且在同一条常青路上住着!缘分啊缘分，他笑啊笑，我也呵呵傻乐起来。

我有多久没有这么简单地笑过了?我心底涌出一股感动和感谢，是丁冬让我觉得，生活还是有一小部分是有趣的，充满期待的。比如，等着他上网，和他聊天。

他当时还是科技大一名大三的学生，比我小三岁。虽然他是弟弟，但我觉得他的包容和细心比同龄男生强多了。我们约着见面，就在常青路上的花坛附近。

丁冬算不上帅哥，但我们就是看对眼了。他光荣地升级成了我的初恋，而他也宠我疼我，当宝贝一样。但我的心里，还是有个疑虑，关于我过去的事，他能理解吗?

我什么事都跟他坦白了，甚至包括我自暴自弃地沾过软性毒品。丁冬想了一会儿，他说，我不介意，真的，我会好好疼你，不再让你受委屈。

我惊喜地抱着他，又想笑，又想哭，开心得不知道怎么表达才好。

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