超级幽默的儿童英语冷笑话 不信你不笑(2)

Mushroom and Toadstool 蘑菇与毒蕈

Younger Scout: How can I tell the difference between a mushroom and a toadstool（毒菌） ?

Older Scout: Just eat one before you go to bed. If you wake up the next morning, it was a mushroom.

年少的童子军：我怎样才能把蘑菇和毒蕈区别开呢？

年长的童子军：上床前吃一个。如果你第二天早上醒来，那就是蘑菇

Tell a lie

Mom: "Which banana do you want, Victor?"

Victor: "I want that one of the greatest."

Mom: "Victor, you should be polite, to have that little one."

Victor: "Mom, I must lie to be polite?"

妈妈：“你要哪一只香蕉，维克多？”

维克多：“我要那只最大的。”

妈妈：“维克多，你应该懂礼貌，要那只小的。”

维克多：“妈妈，难道懂礼貌就必须说谎吗？”

I Don't Like an Argument 我不想争论

Gerald, asked the teacher, what is the shape of the earth?

It's round, answered Gerald.

How do you know it's round? continued the teacher.

All right, it's square then, he replied, I really don't feel like getting into an argument about it!

杰拉尔德，老师问：地球是什么形状？

是圆形的，杰拉尔德回答道。

你怎么知道是圆的？老师又问。

好吧，那它是方的，学生回答说：我可不想与你争论这件事情。

Two Birds 两只鸟

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

Three Turtles 三只乌龟

Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.

The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."

The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."

"We won't," the other two promised.

Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."

Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."

三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“回家去取伞吧。”

最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”

“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。

两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”

正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。”