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“棍棒底下出孝子”真的对吗 家长这些言行“污染”孩子(2)

发布日期：2016-09-14 12:00:30编辑：七七

我们究竟是爱孩子，还是在内心酬赏自己？我们究竟是爱孩子，还是在补偿愧疚之情？我们究竟是爱孩子，还是替孩子思考？我们究竟是爱孩子，还是爱我们自己的梦想？对孩子的爱，如何给，给多少，都是应该细致讨论的问题。

三、不和睦的家庭关系

家庭主要成员不能和睦相处，经常争吵，甚至大打出手，这种状况不仅给家庭生活罩上了阴影，而且给孩子带来难以弥补的心理创伤。造成孩子性格孤僻、自卑感强、自尊心低下，自控能力差，并有可能导致孩子离家出走、流浪街头、甚至走上犯罪道路。

有时，父母也会像个孩子。因为一件小事，在孩子面前忍不住吵架了。而后呢？你怎么让自己从愤怒的情绪里解脱出来？怎么和他和好？还有，怎么和孩子说？

有了孩子，夫妻吵架的问题就比较复杂了。往往事情不大，但谁都想说出自己的理，可当着孩子的面好多话又没法说出来，因为不知道会给孩子的心灵造成什么样的影响。

其实，吵架会不会给夫妻之间、给孩子带来影响，取决于你们吵架以后解决矛盾的方式。

四、打骂的教育方法

孩子经常处在被打骂责难的环境中，是对孩子幼小心灵和肉体的一种摧残，会使孩子意志脆弱、胆小怕事、精神恍惚、情绪低落、缺乏自信，易使孩子患精神忧郁症和精神封闭症。

中国政法大学田岚、何俊萍两位教授针对“家庭体罚子女现象”的调查显示，近2/3儿童曾经遭受过家庭暴力。

在接受调查的498名大学生中，54%的人承 认自己在中小学阶段经历过家长的体罚，高达被体罚总数的71.38%。体罚的形式以父母手打脚踹为最多，占到88%，借助工具，如棍棒、皮带、衣架等实施暴力的占1.6%。从体罚的种类看，辱骂占25.28%，罚跪占16.36%，罚站占13.38%，被父母逐出家门的占4.09%。

心理学家指出，家长在 孩子的成长过程中滥用体罚会给孩子造成诸多心理问题。

五、缺乏修养的讲话方式

有些父母由于缺乏文化修养，平时脏话、粗话不离口，甚至当着孩子的面讲低级趣味的话，长期如此会使孩子从小讲话就没有礼貌，不讲理，粗鲁蛮横，使人讨厌，不易被社会所接受和容纳。

好多父母都抱怨自己的孩子不听话，其实有时并不是孩子不肯听父母的话，而是父母没掌握和孩子说话的技巧。现在我就把我的一些小经验拿出来和大家分享，希望能给你们一些帮助。

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