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董宇辉：若孩子不会控制自己的脾气，那请家长给他讲讲这个故事

发布日期：2024-08-22 03:09:02编辑：网络收集

生活中，我们可能经常会遇到一些孩子，因为各种原因而突然发脾气、大哭大闹，甚至当众撒泼打滚。

比如，想要的玩具父母不给买，积木堆不好，输掉了比赛，作业不会写……

等各种在我们眼里，看似无关紧要的时刻，都可能成为他们情绪崩溃的导火索！

都说孩子的脸是六月的天，说变就变，刚刚还是艳阳天，下一秒说不定就大雨滂沱！

然而，这种突如其来的情绪转变，让许多家长都感到措手不及，很是苦恼。

那么，究竟是什么导致了孩子们情绪的不稳定呢？有没有什么办法可以帮助孩子更好的控制自己的情绪呢？接下来禾禾妈就带各位家长，深入了解下有关孩子情绪的一系列问题！

01是什么导致了孩子们情绪的不稳定？

俗话说解铃还须系铃人，想要帮助孩子养成良好的情绪调控能力，首先我们就要弄清楚，到底是什么导致了孩子们不稳定的情绪？

① 生理原因

脑科学研究发现：人类的大脑由“本能脑、情绪脑、理智脑“三部分组成，且三个大脑发育成熟的时间不同，本能脑早在婴儿时期（2岁左右）就比较完善了，情绪脑则要等到青春期早期（12岁左右）才趋于完善，而理智脑最晚，要等到成年早期（22岁左右）才基本发育成熟。

由此可见，12岁以下的孩子，主管认知的“理智脑”以及主管情绪的“情绪脑”还未发育成熟。

所以，日常生活中做的大部分决策，往往来自本能，因此，当他们面临一些困扰和疑惑时，较容易受情绪控制，难以有效控制自己的行为。

②家庭环境

根据一项大规模的家庭调查显示：家庭氛围紧张、亲子关系不佳的孩子，其情绪控制问题的发生率，明显高于家庭和谐的孩子。

关于这一点，我是深有体会的，因为我的妈妈就是一个情绪极不稳定的人，动不动就会因为一点小事大发雷霆，情绪失控。

打小就生活在这种氛围紧张的家庭环境中，我不知不觉也成为了这种人，要不是结婚后老公给我提醒，我现在还意识不到这个问题的严重性，并努力改正。

父母是孩子的第一任老师，年幼的孩子往往通过模仿父母的情绪表达方式，来建立自己的情绪表达方式。

如果你或者你的家人，无法控制自己的情绪，孩子就很难从家人那里学到如何有效地管理自己的情绪，从而变得情绪不稳定。

③教育方式

一项针对不同教育方式的对比研究发现：采用温和、理解、引导的教育方式，比采用严厉、惩罚的教育方式更能培养孩子的情绪控制能力。

比如说，当孩子A和B同时因为某事，感到愤怒或者沮丧时。

A孩子的父母，采取的是先安抚孩子的情绪，然后跟孩子沟通产生情绪的原因，接着引导孩子表达自己的感受，最后共同探讨解决问题的办法。

而B孩子的父母，看到愤怒的孩子，却只懂得对孩子进行批评或者惩罚，试图通过自己的权威压制孩子的情绪表达，让孩子听话。

长期下来，孩子A便可学会如何识别和处理自己的情绪，而孩子B则可能会变得易怒、暴躁，无法控制自己的情绪，甚至产生心理问题。

相比严厉、惩罚的教育方式，温和的教育方式，更注重引导孩子理解和处理情绪，有助于建立亲子之间的信任和情感联系，使孩子更愿意向父母敞开心扉，表达自己的情绪和需求。

这不仅能够让孩子在轻松愉快的氛围中成长，还能帮助他们建立起积极、健康的心态，更好地应对生活中的挑战和困难。

02 如何帮助孩子控制情绪？

在提到如何帮助孩子认识情绪、控制情绪时，董宇辉曾讲过的一个“蛇与锯子”的故事，个人觉得非常的形象生动，尤其适合孩子发脾气时，拿出来讲给他们听。

有一天，一条蛇爬进一家木工店去找吃的，当它穿过地上的锯子时，身体被划了一道伤口，被划破身体的蛇十分愤怒，于是转过身一口咬住锯子。

结果，锯子丝毫没有损伤，反而蛇的嘴巴被割破了，蛇不明白发生了什么事，本能的认为是锯子在攻击它，于是它越发愤怒，红着眼睛冲向锯子，用身体使劲勒住锯子，希望把锯子勒死。

然而，当它用尽全身力气后，锯子依旧毫发无损，反而自己被割成了两段死掉了，蛇到死都没明白是怎么回事。

董宇辉说：“我们的情绪就像一条蛇，没有危险时它会静静地盘踞在角落里，安静而平和；但当我们遇到不愉快的事情，感到愤怒、沮丧或者害怕时，‘情绪之蛇’就会活跃起来。如果我们不学会控制自己的行为，用锯子去攻击它，那‘情绪之蛇’就会变得愈加狂躁，甚至可能反咬我们一口。相反，如果我们能够冷静下来，用理智和耐心去对待它，那么这条蛇就会逐渐安静下来，恢复它原本的平静。”

父母通过跟孩子讲述“蛇与锯子”的故事，不仅可以帮助孩子更深入地理解情绪的本质，还能教会孩子在面对不同情绪时，如何运用理智和冷静去引导和管理它们。

【最后写给家长的话】

发脾气是弱者的本能，控制情绪才是强者的本事。

作为父母，我们不仅要运用恰当的教育方法，更要为孩子打造一个和谐稳定的情感环境，通过自身的言行示范，帮助孩子深入认识和理解情绪，进而学会有效地管理情绪。

只有这样，我们的孩子才能在今后的人生旅程中，更加从容地面对生活中的种种挑战和困难，成长为内心坚韧、自信满满的人！

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