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在中国90%的家长，面临处理孩子的问题时选择的方法错了几百年

发布日期：2024-08-06 11:56:12编辑：网络收集

不论是在网上还是在理想中经常都可以看到有父母们的吐槽，每个父母都对孩子大声呼啸过，对孩子气急损坏地发过火，当我们试图改变孩子的想法，让他改动不好的习气时，却发现孩子变得越来越叛逆，家长也觉得越来越有力。

有些父母会觉得对本人的小孩温顺的同时，却还是会忍不住发脾气。市面上的道理都懂，但是小心情是说来就来！要追溯其本源，很多妈妈都道不出所以然，只是会觉得

人一旦心情失控，就最容易切换到本人最熟习的形式，也就是我们说的应激反响。我们不喜欢已经这样被看待，但不盲目地，面对孩子，我们也成了那个本人厌恶的父母。

这就是原生家庭的影响。

心思学上有一个风趣景象，叫“超限效应”：当一团体承受的安慰过多、过强、工夫过长时，内心就会繁殖不耐烦、逆反的心情。

当我们第一次大声呵斥孩子的时分，孩子的确很惧怕，会表现得很老实、很听话。可是大声怒斥的次数多了之后，孩子就会习气这些大强度的“安慰”，看似在听你吼，其实留意力早曾经游离到别处去了，基本不在乎你在吼什麼。

工夫一久，孩子发现你除了吼，并不能拿他怎样样，于是就大胆起来，敢跟你顶嘴对着干。

父母是孩子最好的教师，孩子也是父母的缩影，而且孩子最擅长是模拟，明天你对他大吼大叫，今天他就会用大吼大叫去处置事情，久而久之，孩子遇事不顺就会冲身边的人大吼大叫，对孩子将来的开展极端不利。

呼啸的初衷是爲了让孩子可以矫正错误，让孩子更好的生长，但是你有没有想过，第一次你吼他，孩子会由于惧怕而屈从，但是一朝一夕，孩子会习气了呼啸，甚至会变得愈加叛逆，到那时又要怎样管束孩子呢？

父母在呼啸孩子的时分经常会要挟孩子说“再不听话就不要你了”，可是现实上并没有不要孩子，最终言而无信，在孩子面前得到威严，说话也没有威望性了。

一旦我们大声吼了孩子，请记得给本人几分钟紧张工夫，待到心情平复后，蹲上去，试着去抱抱你的孩子

通知他：

“妈妈虽然吼了你，但妈妈对你的爱一点没有增加，下一次，妈妈一定努力控制本人的心情。”

引导孩子表达心情

心情是有能量的，父母吼孩子，传递给孩子的是负能量，孩子受负能量投射，感到恐惧，用“不说话”来顺从这种能量。

但实践上，很多孩子没有消化负能量的才能，临时不说话，只会让负能量积郁在心里。

当损伤构成后，父母一定要预先弥补。

心平气和地引导孩子说出来心中的真实想法，教孩子学会表达心情、排解心情，并郑重地和孩子保证：这只是情感的交流，不是对错的纠正。

接纳本人的不完满，也承受孩子的不完满

每团体内心深处都住着一个“完满小孩”，我们试图照着这个规范，来教育本人的孩子，让他依照本人心中的那个样子生活生长。吼孩子，其实是父母对本身的一种不接纳。

每个孩子都是无独有偶的，他只能是他本人，而不是我们的复制品，更不能够长成父母想要的样子。

不论是谁，在心情焦躁的时分很难再去处置另外一些让本人不愉快的事情，在心境不好又面对孩子“不乖”时，父母难免会复杂、粗犷的处置成绩。

但父母应该认识到，在任务与生活中难免遇到不愉快，需求给这种不愉快找到适宜的出口，不要让无辜的孩子承当你的负面心情。接纳不完满的本人，也接纳孩子的不完满。

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