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“既不带娃又不出钱，为啥要我孝顺”儿媳的一番话，婆婆无力反驳

发布日期：2024-06-26 10:35:40编辑：网络收集

婆媳关系一直以来就很复杂，尤其在中国传统家庭中，这种关系处理的好坏，也直接影响了整个家庭的日常生活。

随着时代的发展，现代社会中的婆媳关系也发生了很大的变化。过去，媳妇嫁到婆家讲究三从四德，无论婆婆喜不喜欢，都要尽心伺候婆婆。

然而，如今的社会环境和思想观念早已发生变化，婆媳关系也随之变得更为独立和个性化。

01

婆媳关系的变化

邻居一位阿姨，今年60多岁，经常来我家串门，一次聊天中，她回忆起自己刚结婚时的情景：“我们那个时候嫁到婆家就得上灶台做饭，伺候一家人，女人出嫁首先要看会不会做活。”

阿姨嫁过去时，丈夫是家里的老大，她每天要最早起来做饭，一家人都吃好了，她才在旁边吃，有时候还吃不饱。那时，她心里想着，将来当了婆婆就能吃上媳妇做的饭。

然而，社会变了，如今她的儿子和媳妇因忙于工作，从儿媳妇怀孕开始，他们就过来照顾，到现在生完二胎了，也没吃过儿媳妇做的饭。阿姨说到这儿，自己先笑了：“谁家都一样啊！”

在传统社会中，媳妇的角色是明确的，她们的职责包括照顾公婆、料理家务。然而，随着社会的进步，女性地位的提高和独立意识的增强，现代媳妇不再甘心扮演传统的家庭角色。婆媳关系因此变得复杂而微妙。

02

老人带娃：义务还是选择？

如今，老人帮忙带娃在很多家庭中已经成为一种“约定俗成”的做法。许多老人认为，帮儿子儿媳或者女儿女婿带娃是一种义务，有些甚至还会取笑那些没有老人帮忙带娃的年轻父母。

例如，我家孩子小时候，我带娃下楼遛弯儿时，常常遇到一些宝奶、宝姥们聊天，她们首先就会问：“你婆婆和你妈都不给你带孩子呀？那你这也不工作，岂不是跟社会脱节了！”

虽然我自己对带娃没有太大的怨气，也觉得自己带娃没什么不好，但听到老人们这样说，心里还是有些不舒服。老人带娃在年轻人和老人心里似乎都成了一种必然。

然而，有些年轻人则认为，自己带娃虽然辛苦，但至少可以避免将来伺候婆婆的负担。一些年轻人宁愿自己辛苦带娃，也不愿意欠婆婆的人情，认为这样可以避免将来被要求承担更多的家庭责任。

从法律角度看，儿媳妇没有赡养公婆的义务，但儿子却有赡养父母的责任。

因此，当公婆需要照顾时，作为妻子无法阻止丈夫尽孝。无论前期与公婆关系如何紧张，到晚年公婆身体不好需要人照顾时，作为家庭一员，儿媳妇仍需代替丈夫出力。

当然，也有例外情况。比如，有些家庭在婚前就明确约定了赡养责任的分担，像papi酱在婚前就跟老公约定好了：“平时互不打扰，过年也是各回各家，将来养老各管各的父母。”但这种情况毕竟少数，大多数普通家庭仍需面对现实中的种种问题。

果妈寄语

婆婆和儿媳本是陌生人，因为一个男人走到一起。两个人的结合并不只是两人的事，而是一个新家庭的组成。当新家庭添了小宝宝之后，需要双方老人的扶持。

如果老人有余力帮助小两口，尤其在他们有房贷、需要养孩子的情况下，老人搭把手，日子会过得相对轻松一些。

在现代社会，婆媳关系需要更大的包容和理解。老人不愿意带娃也不必过于计较，每个人都有选择的权利。作为儿媳妇，要学会理解和尊重老人的选择。同时，老人也应理解年轻人的压力和辛苦。

最终，婆媳关系的处理关键在于沟通和理解。双方都需要换位思考，才能在家庭生活中找到平衡点。

今日互动：如果婆婆既不帮忙带娃，又不给家里出钱，作为儿媳妇，你会怎么做呢？你家婆媳关系融洽吗？

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