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事出反常必有妖,孩子忽然厌学也不是空穴来风,找准原因才重要

发布日期:2024-06-13 20:51:16编辑:小编

曾经有一个小男孩,从小乖巧聪明又听话,小学阶段学习成绩一直在班里名列前茅,轻轻松松考入优秀的中学,眼见前程似锦、前途光明,是典型的“别人家孩子”,是爸爸妈妈的骄傲。

可是在8年级的时候,忽然性情大变,从听话变为叛逆;从爱学变为厌学;成绩从一骑绝尘的第一,滑落到班级中等;

爸爸妈妈当然是着急万分,穷其手段,鼓励、责骂、摔打、报班、讲道理、定任务、谈心、叱责、冷处理……和孩子的关系却越来越僵,别说管孩子,就是亲子间好好说一句话都难。

看着孩子的冷漠,爸爸妈妈先崩溃了!

后来和孩子深入的聊天之后才知道,孩子的父母对其学习的态度,有些过于强势,考了班级第一,还有全校第一,有了全校第一,还有全区、全市的排行……孩子太累了,认为自己干脆摆烂好了。

曾经有一个和这个男孩差不多的小女孩,同样的年龄,同样的突然叛逆,同样的毫无征兆。

当然,父母也是同样的做法,结果也是同样的让人郁闷不已。

幸亏,这个女孩有位相当负责任的班主任老师,结合父母的说法,又综合孩子近期内在学校的表现,抽茧剥丝的得出结论:这个女孩可能是与班上的好朋友闹矛盾,情绪作祟而已。又觉得告诉父母,自己很没有面子,也不会得到理解,因为父母平日里只问成绩,不管其他。

所以,后来老师鼓励这个女孩的好朋友给她发了个信息,问:“你怎么还不来,我在学校好孤单,也好想你啊!”

收到信息的小女孩,立即一蹦三跳,高高兴兴地收拾书包准备去学校了。

这两个孩子的事情,都是发生在我身边真实的事例。

孩子的成长中,尤其是青春期,总是会格外的脆弱,也非常钻牛角尖,又不愿意和父母、老师沟通,最终体现为“厌学”、“成绩一落千丈”。

父母一定要找对原因,找准源头,才能够有的放矢地帮助到孩子。

像上面讲的厌学的男孩子,只是因为父母的期望值过高;而女孩子则是因为友谊和面子受到了考验……也许在成人眼中不值一提的小事,在孩子眼里、心中就是难以撼动的大山。

面对孩子的忽然厌学,父母不妨先从这两个方面找原因:

1、自己的教育

有些父母压根儿意识不到孩子的厌学,是自己不正确的要求和陪伴引发的。若是父母眼中只有成绩而没有考虑到孩子的精神需求,那么孩子的厌学是必然的。

孩子固然是父母生命中最重要的一部分,但父母的精神寄托千万不要全部都转移到孩子身上。

父母要有自己的生活、自己的追求和自己的学习,以此来带动孩子,比和孩子唠叨千万遍要强太多了。

2、孩子的生活

忽然厌学的孩子,精神压力一般都是比较大的。因为没有孩子不愿意让自己取得好成绩,也没有孩子天生就是为了惹父母老师生气而存在的。

现在孩子的物质条件几乎都不差,反而是精神世界比较匮乏,也比较脆弱。他们看似平静的外表下,可能遭受到了不公平的待遇、可能和同学发生了矛盾、可能与一些人产生了摩擦……他们表现平静如水,实际内心如沸水热油,只不过年龄使然,只要父母认真观察,用心体会,就一定能够看得到。

有的放矢地帮助他们,就会减少很多悲剧的发生;若对孩子的情绪异常视而不见,只关注学习成绩,那么收获一个叛逆的孩子,也指日可待。

另外,对孩子的要求不要过于严格,不是放养,而是信任。对孩子有足够的信任,相信他们本性愿意学习、本心向善;也要相信孩子对自己面临的问题,有自己的处理方式,只是需要得到父母的认可或者更为严谨、有序的帮助。

与其像行家里手一样,站得高高的去评判孩子,不如坦白地告诉他们:我们也是第一次做父母,也会有很多自己没有经历过、没有想到的事情,那么不妨我们共同尝试改变、共同努力,好不好?

这样才能避免一些无效的、不当的教育,转为对孩子有效的、合理的帮助。

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