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培养孩子的良好行为习惯是有原则的，其中最容易的，莫过于阅读

发布日期：2024-06-13 20:58:42编辑：小编

最近我身边的一些妈妈再次把“减肥”提到日程上来。因为居家时间太长，也因为马上就要过年过节，迎来送往间，不能不重视形象。

而我总是在不由自主地想，同样是减肥，为什么有人能够快速成功，有人却仰望兴叹。是方法不对吗？是没有所谓的秘诀吗？其实最大的原因，应该就是没有坚定的决心、没有良好的习惯，更无从坚持下去吧！

而往往，这些妈妈最容易对孩子脱口而出“你要养成良好的习惯”之类的话语吧！

因为自己做不到，所以分外想要孩子能够达成自己不能实现的梦想。这就是现实，不过也往往会以无奈而收尾。

事实上，培养孩子的良好行为习惯应该遵循“顺应自然，适当推动”的原则。顺其自然，才能够有的放矢、顺势而为；适当推动，就是推波助澜，事半功倍。

而现状呢？

几乎所有行动慢吞吞的孩子背后，都有位心急火燎、动作麻利的家长；

所有不爱吃饭的孩子背后，都有位喜欢一勺接一勺往孩子嘴里喂饭、跟着喂饭的家长；

所有不自觉学习的孩子背后，都有位对作业吹毛求疵，对分数过于紧张的家长；

……

其实，孩子能健康、自然地发展，就是在成长的过程中，不知不觉的养成各种习惯。也就是说，习惯养成，常常是自然而然地发生，几经磨合，最终成为孩子牢不可分的一部分。而这个磨合的过程，就需要家长认真的反省一下自身，有没有矫枉过正，有没有急功近利。

我们都知道，一个生命对另一个生命表达关爱的方式，首先应该是尊重，而不是改造。再亲密的关系都必须建立在两者各自独立的基础上，这样才能在习惯的养成上取得进步，在生命与生命之间达成和谐。

换句话说，在培养孩子养成良好的行为习惯上，家长最有作为的办法是做好自己，做好示范，并一直坚持，尽量减少为此和孩子发生的冲突。

诚然，想要孩子养成良好的行为习惯，家长的方法必须百变，有必须百变不离其宗；看似困难重重，但并非没有简单的方法。

其中最容易操作的，莫过于通过阅读来带动孩子有所思考、有所改变了。

1、创立家庭阅读环境，和孩子一起阅读

英国当代著名青少年文学大师艾登·钱伯斯指出：

阅读是需要场所的。阅读的场所和我们阅读的乐趣、情绪、专心度有极大关系。

阅读的乐趣绝不仅仅取决于场所，它和读什么书、当时的心情、什么样的时间以及是否被打扰等因素，都有很大的关系。对儿童阅读来讲，更是如此。

给孩子时间阅读，并帮助孩子从一点一点增加的阅读时间中品味文学给他到来的乐趣，是大人的一项重要工作。

有一个非常简单有效的方法：把书里的故事变成故事脚本，和孩子一起来玩角色扮演的游戏，从而吸引孩子的兴趣。

2、根据孩子的兴趣，引导和吸引孩子阅读

阅读不能强迫，要适当引导。

每个孩子的兴趣点不同，年龄阶段也不一样，父母千万不要把自己的喜好凌驾于孩子的选择之上，让他们用自己喜欢的方式，读自己喜欢读的书。

有数据显示：在有阅读习惯的家庭中，有92.84%的家庭经常是妈妈陪孩子阅读，只有44.36%的家庭爸爸会陪孩子阅读；26.65%的家长能做到每天陪孩子读书，61.35%的家长会定期、有目的地带孩子逛书店，同时向孩子推荐优秀的书籍，另有12%的家长从不带孩子逛书店。

有些家长为了让孩子养成阅读的习惯，经常给孩子买很多书，但孩子很少看书，原因就在于没有选对书籍而已。

3、欲强化某个好习惯，不妨用合适的书籍来介入，杜绝对孩子批评和责罚

孩子最容易受到暗示，也自有自己的是非对错的观念。

所以通过书籍的介入来引导孩子养成好的行为习惯，是最为自然、流畅的方式，孩子通过对故事中主人公的行为做出自己的判断，明辨是非，从而养成自己的好习惯。

如果孩子对于故事中的某些行为习惯做出不正确的判断时，父母就需要及时的引导，与孩子一起分析，从而更加清晰的深入孩子的内心世界。

当然，主动学习的过程，都是一个人克服低级错误、使思维和动作精细化和准确化的过程，这个过程中，赞赏和肯定越多，宽容和理解越多，完成的时间就会越短。相反，若是孩子总是处在恐惧和叱责中，生活中处处都在否定状态，这个过程就会增长，或者逐渐没有了让自己变得更好的愿望。毕竟，对比之下，摆烂比努力更容易。

总之，父母不要总是否定孩子，而是要让他体会到成就感和荣誉感。只有在好情绪中，事情才会往良性循环的方向走，坏情绪只能让事情陷入恶性循环。用令孩子不快的坏方法来清除坏习惯，几乎都会失败，会制造出更大的坏习惯。

若是父母真的没有方法，不妨从阅读开始，用适合孩子的优秀书籍，用故事中的人物来陪伴孩子，积极进取、勇往直前吧！

《快乐儿童的7个习惯》：《高效能人士的七个习惯》的儿童版，通过生动的故事让7个习惯轻松走进孩子内心。

《逆商·不服输系列》：用漫画形式告诉孩子如何学习才有动力，如何改掉拖沓的毛病，并附赠20个学习小工具。

《三只懒鸟》：有趣的小故事藏着人生哲理。每个孩子都有犯懒的时候，但偷懒解决不了问题，只有行动才能获得真正的轻松。

《不要不要，妈妈不要》：超有脑洞的绘本，描述了孩子和妈妈互换角色的一天，帮助孩子和家长互相理解。

诸如此类，都蛮好！

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