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给宝贝立规则 诀窍速学起

发布日期：2024-12-25 00:43:16编辑：秩名

给宝贝立规则 诀窍速学起
　　为了避免总在孩子耳边唠叨不停，爸妈们开始绞尽脑汁给孩子制定一堆规则，让孩子按规则行事。却发现他十分不给面子，没几天就把规则给忘了干净，真让人头疼。让
 
　　其实，与孩子制定规则，与成人世界大有不同，更需要爱与耐性，掌握技巧与方法，能让你的家庭规矩最大有效化。
 
 
爸妈们，你的规则合格吗?
　　其实，爸妈们的烦恼，不仅因为孩子正处于成长的特殊时期，会有一些叛逆行为。也有可能是，父母们对于家庭规则的制定还不够上心，思考得太少，无法正确引导孩子遵守规则。现在，仔细考察一下，你的规矩是否也犯了这些失误？
 
　　·规则太复杂。如果你制定了很多规则，而且规则复杂，那么宝宝的理解能力与记忆力可能跟不上，仅记不住这些规则，还可能觉得糊涂，分辨不出自己做的究竟是对还是错。
 
　　·朝令夕改，规则经常变动。规则不可能永远固定，但是三天两头改一次规则，孩子容易忘记规则，而规则的权威性也会下降。
 
　　·规矩都是爸妈说了算。规则的制定并没有经过孩子的同意，基本是一言堂。但作为孩子本身却得无条件地接受这些规则。所以，规则的实行性很可能仅仅是来自爸妈的权威。
 
　　·规则并不坚定。如孩子吵闹着要吃糖或看电视，有些父母会发怒后又心软让孩子，违反规则。这种表面上态度坚决，而立场不坚定的行为，会让孩子觉得只要他哭闹，规则就可以被破坏。
 
　　·制定规则没有奖惩。孩子们有时候会偷偷地尝试违反规则没有奖惩，违反规则不需要成本。那么，他为什么要遵守规则？
 
　　·家长也不不遵守规则。你制定了规则后，孩子们会偷偷留意父母的行为，当孩子发现父母们在外也不遵守规则时，他们可能会以家长的行为为标准。
 
规则制订：可行+民主
　　爸妈们不要特地去照搬他人曾经成功的规则，每个孩子的成长情况，家庭的气氛环境都会有所不同，只有适合自家的才是最佳的。不过制订的时候不能必须考虑两个因素就是可行性与民主性。
 
 
 
　　关于可行性，就规则在现实生活中能不能用，爸妈们可以参考以下这些意见：
 
　　·规则的制定应该不超过7条。以后还想增加内容时，可以在孩子牢记后，对原有规则进行一些改动。
 
　　·规则需要有书面协议。把规则一一抄写下来，制成合同形式，要有孩子与父母的签名。
 
　　·要反复检查规则。了解规则是否有没有表达的问题，或是交待不清。如规定“晚上不准看电视”，最好说清楚如“晚上7点后不能看电视”。
 
　　至于民主性，便是规则不能是父母想要孩子怎么做，而是要考虑怎样做才是对孩子好，以及孩子能否接受规则。
 
　　·规则制订时，要先与孩子商量。商量时，可以参考孩子的意见，酌情调整家庭规则，但不会完全满足孩子的要求。
 
　　·奖惩并行。奖励和惩罚，会让孩子对执行规则更加有动力。奖励可以是一项特权，如孩子连续多少天遵守规矩，可以在星期天多看一个小时的电视，或者获得一下午出去玩的机会。而惩罚则不应该太过严厉，可以是收回某项特权，如这个星期天减少半个小时出去玩的时间等。
 
　　·要随着孩子的情况的变化而调整规则。学会考察孩子的成长状况，和周围环境的改变，根据改变调整规则，这会让规则变得更加适用。
 
规则执行，要以孩子为出发点
　　制定规则并非是为让孩子成为一个讲究规矩的人，而是想让孩子更健康的成长。所以执行规则时，也要让孩子能感受到你的爱，以孩子的健康成长为出发点，才能让规则具有存在价值。
 
 
　　·孩子违背规则，家长处罚时避免情绪激动。盛怒会让你伤害孩子的情感，对规则产生抵抗心理。平常心处理，孩子更能体会到自己的错误。
 
　　·规则不会一日达成，父母要坚持。父母一次性制定数条规矩。孩子们可能做不到一下子达成，父母因此觉得孩子顽皮就放弃，刚开始一段时间也不要随意处罚孩子，如果孩子有诚意，可以给孩子数次豁免惩罚的机会，孩子会慢慢习惯规则的。
 
　　·一视同仁。如果家有二胎，家长切记不要对他们区别对待，执行标准不一。不然随时引起孩子们的反抗。
 
　　·坚持原则。刚开始可以给孩子豁免权，但是当孩子熟悉规则后，则要奖惩分明，不因孩子的泪水与吵闹去破坏规则。
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