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二孩相处 巧妙处理嫉妒心

发布日期：2024-12-25 00:42:53编辑：秩名

二孩相处 巧妙处理嫉妒心
 
　　每个打算要二孩的父母，心理总会幻想一番大宝与二宝相处的其乐融融的场景，但当孩子诞生后，一切就没那么简单，大宝不一定会乐意接受新生的宝宝，二宝可能不满意父母更关注大哥或大姐，两个孩子之间出现的嫉妒情绪，经常让父母们感到头疼。
 
　　当然，孩子之间虽然存在互相嫉妒，但如果父母们意识到孩子的嫉妒心理，积极地去应对，则能够地帮助两个孩子关系健康成长。
 
 
 
接受孩子嫉妒心的存
　　我身边有一位生了二胎的母亲，她告诉我，家里大儿子嫉妒小女儿，一旦她对小女儿好，大儿子就开始欺负小女儿，她对孩子表现出的嫉妒感到愤怒，担心大儿子品性因此变坏。
 
　　其实，这位母亲不应该过于惊讶孩子出现嫉妒心，也不应该用嫉妒心评判孩子善良与否。
 
　　首先，嫉妒是人类的天性。从孩子的角度看，家里出现了另外一个孩子，分割了父母的爱，他担心小宝宝占据了父母的心，爸爸妈妈们不再爱他。他产生嫉妒。这种反应再正常不过，何况对孩子心理健康而言，表现出嫉妒心理，可能比压抑这种心理好多了。
 
　　其次，假装或忽略嫉妒不存在，对孩子的教育并非有益。如果对孩子的嫉妒感到，或是刻意假装不知道孩子的嫉妒，这并不能帮你处理好两个孩子的关系。如果我们能知道孩子的嫉妒是好事，如果孩子强制压下的嫉妒心，这种压抑会造成孩子的心理问题。
 
所谓平等，不能减少孩子的嫉妒
　　有些父母意识到了孩子的嫉妒心，努力去保持两个孩子间的公平，尽量不让他们觉得父母偏心，但是这种平等，经常适得其反，结果是两个孩子都不满意父母们所做的决定，对父母大哄“不公平”。为什么连平等也无法解决孩子的嫉妒?
 
二孩相处 巧妙处理嫉妒心
 
图片素材来源于华盖
 
　　·不同年龄的孩子所拥有的权利与责任不一样。大孩子需要更多的零花钱、独立的时间，更宽松的家庭规矩。如果把对大孩子与小孩子的对待统一，对任何一方的成长都是不公平的。
 
　　·每个不同性格的孩子们对爱的需求方式不同。如内向的姐姐可能羡慕妈妈能跟妹妹多相处，而外向的妹妹可能羡慕姐姐可以获得更多外出的权利。父母用同样的方式对待他们时，那他们的行为显然不能符合她们的心愿。
 
　　所以，家里如果有两个孩子，刻意去给孩子同等的对待、同样的物质，其实是在孩子教育上犯了懒。想要安抚孩子的嫉妒，不应该把他们视为一个整体分割你的爱，不由分说地给同样大小的东西。当你的行为无法满足她们的需求，他们就会疑惑你的行为是出自偏心。其实他们需要你唯一的爱，你要做的就是了解孩子们的需求，知道满足两个孩子的不同方式。
 
降低嫉妒感的正确方式
　　兄弟姐妹间多度强烈的嫉妒心不仅会影响他们的关系，对于孩子的人格成长也可能会造成伤害，所以父母们不能忽视孩子的嫉妒心理，要学习降低孩子心中的嫉妒感。
 
 
　　·迎接二宝来临时，请不要显得太隆重。得知二宝即将来临时，一些父母可能会显得很激动，或是充满喜悦的告诉大宝。父母的这种喜悦会让大宝有危机感，“爸爸妈妈那么喜欢他，不再爱我了怎么办?”父母们应平静地把怀孕消息告诉大宝，跟他说小宝贝以后可能会有些小麻烦，摆脱他以后帮忙。则能减轻大宝的危机感。
 
　　·尽可能减少对另一个孩子的牺牲。这种情况下是十分容易增长孩子的嫉妒心的。当二宝到来时，大宝可能会失去许多权利，例如大宝可能要买少一些玩具，节省开支等。如果真的会有这种情况发生，父母们不要用要求的语气，而是要向大宝表示感激，给他多些关爱补偿他。
 
　　·不要拿孩子进行比较褒贬。家里孩子的能力不一也可能造成嫉妒。这个情况下，父母这种当面的比较，如“为什么你就不能像哥哥那么聪明呢?”“为什么不像妹妹一样乖乖地待在家中”，这种言语并不能激发孩子的潜能，却会增长他的嫉妒心，恶化两个孩子的关系。
 
　　·懂得同情孩子的嫉妒。当我们看到大宝在欺负小宝时，阻止后第一个做法不是责骂孩子，这会伤害他的情感。他的嫉妒可能是缘于“我不再是爸妈最爱的孩子”的恐惧，违背父母意愿嫉妒弟弟妹妹也让他感到罪恶，父母们需要做的是向孩子的这种情绪表示同情与理解，可能帮助他释放出嫉妒的情绪。
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