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虎妈猫爸 为何妈妈们都很焦虑

发布日期：2024-07-27 13:23:43编辑：秩名

虎妈猫爸 为何妈妈们都很焦虑
　　虎妈猫爸，剧中赵薇饰演的妈妈引起了身边很多妈妈的关注和讨论。没错，家庭教育越发重要了。
 
　　家庭教育要有意识促进孩子的生活、学习、思维、人际交往等行为习惯的养成。孩子越来越大了，教育中的难题的接踵而至，爸妈两人教育观念的分歧成了导火索，不见硝烟的家庭战争烽火连连，这其中，很大原因是因为——妈妈的焦虑所导致。为什么妈妈们更容易焦虑呢？
 
　　1、虎妈猫爸，妈妈们都会更焦虑
 
　　对很多爸妈来说，眼下正在播放的电视剧《虎妈猫爸》真是直击心脏：几乎孩子教育的每一个难题都在剧中有所呈现。“幼升小”择校的残酷、买学区房的风险、隔代教育引发的家庭矛盾、父母教育观念的不一致、中西教育观念的冲突……在网上的论坛、微信朋友圈，总能看到有人在议论“虎妈”。
 
　　在女儿幼升小之前，他们的日子平静舒适，但进入幼升小的快车道之后，一切都变了。
 
　　虎妈目睹奶奶朋友的孙女弹琴、识字、背古诗等“十项全能”后，深受刺激，前一秒还傻乐欣赏女儿幼儿园表演，后一秒就发现闺女不知何时已全面落后，自小争强的虎妈抓了狂：发动全家找关系求人；啃老加贷款买天价的学区房；为满足入学条件，让女儿推迟一年入学；放弃多年打拼下来的职位，回家做全职妈妈……原本未留意的疯狂世界也一夜间涌来，彻底点燃虎妈的焦虑。
 
　　“咱们要为女儿奋斗！ ”“谁说过快乐就好？ ” 夫妻俩彻夜长谈教育路线大辩论……虎妈和猫爸，一个对孩子近乎残酷的严苛，另一个则是对孩子无原则的千依百顺。首轮下来自然是爱老婆的猫爸跟着虎妈跑，开启战斗模式的虎妈拽着闺女冲。
　　2、妈妈们的焦虑，来自哪里？
 
　　由此可见，妈妈们总是焦虑多多，有人说：那是妈妈的心理健康有些问题，不能够平和的对待这一切；当然也有更多妈妈反击：不当妈不知晓厉害与艰难，看淡点儿，说的容易，做起来何其难！
 
　　要分析焦虑的来源，首先得看看焦虑在哪些方面？
 
 
　　妈妈们有哪些焦虑：
 
　　• 太容易担心：同样是照顾孩子，妈妈的精神要比爸爸紧张得多。比如带宝宝外出，妈妈总是不停地唠叨：小心过马路看车、多穿点别冻着，不要乱摸东西……
 
　　• 责任心太强：中国妈妈为孩子付出的多，把养育孩子当做人生一项艰巨的任务来完成。中国人看孩子是“环绕伺候”。
 
　　• 对自己太苛刻，太容易愧疚：，妈妈们总是自责。因为母乳时间不够长，妈妈愧疚；因为工作忙不能陪孩子，妈妈愧疚；偶尔对孩子发脾气，妈妈愧疚。
 
　　• 太爱攀比：中国妈妈对孩子的爱，在国际上是震耳欲聋的。然而，“中国妈妈”有段时间却成了贬义词，令不少华裔学生烦恼，因为中国妈妈爱攀比。从大事到鸡毛蒜皮的小事，中国妈妈总是要和朋友同事、左邻右舍比一比。
 
　　为什么妈妈更容易焦虑？
 
　　• 社会现实造成的压力——别人家的孩子永远优秀
 
　　妈妈们更敏感，聚在一起话题往往只有孩子。每个妈妈都想给自己孩子最好的，但是总有人的孩子比你的要优秀，当周边的同事同学家的孩子读了好学校，得了好成绩时，妈妈们无法淡然，在焦虑中自己的情绪很容易表露，并急不可耐地想去实施和改变，因此造就了不少“虎妈”。
 
　　• 内心对孩子的期盼——希望她将来出人头地
 
　　《虎妈猫爸》就是代表了大众的教育理念，望子成龙，望女成凤。没有哪一个时代的家长这么怕孩子输在起跑线，没有哪一个时代，几乎所有家长都开始对孩子有那么高的期待，教育的投入已盛世空前，在高期待下，孩子没有最好，只有更好。
 
　　即使开明一点的家长，想让孩子快乐成长，也是希望孩子有一技之长地“快乐成长”。各种兴趣班，特长班层出不穷，于是家长开始了辛苦的“陪读”，孩子的童年也被“充实”得马不停蹄。
　　3、保持冷静，做一个理性的妈妈
 
　　“一流的父母做榜样，二流的父母做教练，三流的父母做保姆。”妈妈只有在生活中不断去尝试去探索，去体会去感悟，去理解孩子 ，从而使自己更加了解孩子，无形中掌握了更多孩子心理及与孩子沟通中的原则问题，也真正明白孩子需要的是什么。
 
 
　　如果只关注于孩子的学习和生活，而忽略了孩子的自我意识及成才先成人的基本原则。这样对亲子关系的培养并无益处，妈妈的一举一动、一言一行，孩子都看在眼里， 正所谓：“行为的作用，胜过千言万语。”以下分享一下，一个理性的妈妈是如何炼成的。
 
　　• 第一个是“虚”。
 
　　很多宝妈都很厉害，看孩子的时候一眼能看出来三个甚至更多问题，而且忍不住很快要指出来，其实，母亲看到宝宝的优点和缺点的时候都不要表现，因为孩子的任何一个特点都需要母亲用良好的情绪去孕育和保护，这样才能赋予孩子内心的成长动力。
 
　　• 第二个是“弱”。
 
　　妈妈应该在孩子面前学会适当的“示弱”。强势妈妈的孩子很难自信，孩子的自信会在这种状态里面一点点的削弱。能够在孩子面前示弱的母亲，孩子的内心必然自信而坚强。你们希望自己的孩子自信吗？学会在孩子面前示弱，示弱才能实现对孩子的托举，凡是站在孩子心口上说话的家长，实际上是在压制孩子的成长和发展。
 
　　• 第三个是“柔”。
 
　　妈妈真正的教育力量，在于面对孩子成长的过程，如何做到“柔和”。越柔和的母亲，在孩子面前的指挥能力就越强。凡是整天扯着嗓门对孩子嚷的妈妈，会慢慢的失去在孩子心中的引导能力。
 
　　教育不是一个人的战斗，是合作的事业，妈妈们要学会把孩子还给爸爸，牵着孩子的手带孩子看世界的事情，交给爸爸来做。妈妈在孩子的教育方面后退一点，而爸爸有意识地给妈妈更多的支持，那么妈妈在情感上会得到更多的滋养，就不会那么焦虑，孩子也会成长得更加舒适。

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