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老人带孩子 其实没有我们想象的那么糟糕(2)

发布日期：2012-12-22 10:42:40编辑：Chen

二、老人讲的故事更生动真实

小青妈妈：

小青也是一个爱听故事的孩子，每天晚上都缠着要别人给他讲故事。但是我发现，小青对我讲的童话故事越来越不感兴趣，有时候还会突然间接着我的故事去讲，她说，在幼稚园的时候这些故事老师、同学都说过，她都听腻了。

后来，唯有找孩子的奶奶帮忙，本来我是尝试一下而已，但是孩子却每天都听得津津有味的。因为外婆讲的事情是许多小朋友都不知道的事情，不是每天一个样的，她听得开心极了。婆婆讲的是一些在中国流传的小故事，想愚公移山等神话故事，或者是小时候她曾经遇到过的趣事，以前和小朋友一起玩的糗事和开心的事情，教育孩子什么是应该做，什么是不应该做的。

而且她讲故事之前交给小青一些任务，比如：记住故事主人公及其主要特征，了解故事的主要情节等等。让小青带着任务去听故事，可以使她逐步学人根据需要，而不是仅凭兴趣，把自己的注意力集中起来，有利于培养青儿的有意注意。

小编有话说：

老人的很多价值观念和生活方式可能对孩子的教育和影响更好。比如老人经历了人生的风风雨雨，大多比较豁达、开明，他们看待问题也有更多的角度，解决问题的方式也更加智慧。

在他们讲述的上万个故事里，有太多太多脍炙人口的经典故事，演绎出了人生的精髓。他们那亲切、和蔼、感人的声音，他们那通俗、浅显、自然、爱憎分明的语言，以鲜明的民族化、大众化彩色，为孩子们描绘出一幅幅生动、美好的画面，影响了一代又代。

三、给老人家带孩子的建议

1、要甘当幕后英雄，不要把孩子占为己有

在养育孩子方面，祖父母都要记住自己是帮忙的角色，照顾孩子的主要任务还是需要年轻的父母来承担。如果年轻的父母出现意见分歧的时候，祖父辈是可以作为调解作用的，但是年轻人的想法不一样，祖父辈也不应该采取过多的干预政策。

父母照顾孩子其实是最为合理和更加自然的养育方式，所以，无论祖父母是多么好的育儿专家，多么喜爱孩子，都不要越俎代庖，要甘当幕后英雄。作为婆婆，我特别想对祖父母们说：你要是爱你的儿子或者女儿，想为他们一辈子的幸福着想，就不要表现得太自私，把孙辈当成自己的私有财产。

这对孩子完全没有好处，会影响亲子依恋关系的建立。安全的亲子依恋关系，则对孩子的人格完善起着重要的作用，也能促进孩子的社会性发展和建立良好人际关系，使他最终能够很好地适应社会。

2、不要用固守的思想影响孩子

但是一个铜钱是有两面，婆婆带孩子也不是样样好的，也有一些我们要注意的地方。由于年龄的关系，老人行动比较缓慢，思想也往往趋于保守。所以他们希望孩子安静、乖巧、循规蹈矩。这确实不利于孩子活泼的天性发展和创新思维的培养。

四、给年轻父母的一些建议

1、主动承担起养育责任

隔辈亲使得有些祖父母难免溺爱孩子，会造成孩子的独立性差。不少年轻的父母，自己本身就是独生子女，没有足够的能力独自照顾孩子；还有极少数的父母，没有做好当父母的准备就有了孩子，还没过够二人世界。于是他们高兴的时候把孩子带着玩玩，不高兴时就把孩子甩给祖父母，自己落得一身轻。

2、用陪伴建议信任感

年轻父母不论工作多忙，既然有了孩子，就应该主动承担起养育的重任，让孩子健康、快乐地成长。每天应该尽量抽出1-2个小时的时间与孩子一起玩耍、沟通。因为亲子依恋关系是在双方的互动中建立起来的。获得了父母的积极回应，孩子便会拥有安全感和更多的自信。

如果确实由于各种客观原因，年轻父母不能亲自养育孩子，必须交给祖父母照料，那么也应该密切关注孩子的成长、发展和变化。可以每天给孩子打电话，进行视频聊天等等，让孩子经常听到或看到父母的声音和影像。

还可以请求祖父母经常告诉孩子：他的爸爸、妈妈虽然不能陪在身边，但是很爱他。在教育上，两辈人也要尽量做到协调一致。只有这样，孩子才能与他的父母建立起亲密关系。

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