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不买玩具就打滚？妈妈该怎么做

发布日期：2025-01-17 13:08:04编辑：秩名

不买玩具就打滚？妈妈该怎么做
 
　　朵妈的朋友小皮妈妈遇到这样一个难题，每次带孩子去超市，孩子都会赖在玩具货架面前不肯走，一定要买了自己喜欢的玩具才罢休。
 
　　朋友烦恼的是，如果家里没有同类型的玩具就算了，可是家里的玩具都多到没地方放了，孩子还是控制不住要买买买!不买就坐在地上打滚哭闹耍赖皮，惹得一群人围观，实在太尴尬了……没办法!朋友每次都会在这个回合败阵下来，只能满足孩子的要求。
 
　　朋友很担心，长期这样没有原则地向孩子妥协，会不会让孩子变得越来越无理取闹，每次都用撒泼哭闹来要挟大人?
 
　　这样的场景，可能在很多家庭中都出现过。假如我们是孩子的妈妈，我们应该怎么做呢?（关注微信订阅号：朵妈亲子时光，聊聊亲子育儿那些事）
 
 
　　朵妈认为，首先我们的立场一定要坚定，因为——
 
　　经常向孩子妥协，是会让孩子“上瘾”的!
 
　　心理学家斯金纳曾经做过这样一个实验，将一只饥饿的小白鼠放入一个有按钮的箱中，一开始小老鼠只要按下按钮，就会有食物掉进箱子里面。于是每当小白鼠想吃东西了，就会去按箱子的按钮。
 
　　在实验接下来的阶段，研究者尝试着减少食物的提供，由一开始的“一按按钮就有食物”，逐渐降低到“按了几分钟才有食物”，到最后完全不提供食物。研究者发现小老鼠逐渐不去按压按钮了，最后就算听到喷管里有东西沙沙作响，它们也无动于衷。
 
　　这个实验给我们的启发是，当孩子发现自己只要哭闹了就会得到玩具，接下来他就会不断地采取这种方式，来达到自己的目的。父母总是没有原则地满足孩子的要求，实际上是强化了孩子索要玩具的行为。
 
　　而孩子屡试不爽之后，这种行为似乎会变本加厉。事实上绝大部分孩子通过这种方式买到玩具后，压根就不会去好好珍惜，过了几天之后又会有新的要求。孩子不会把这个玩具视若珍宝，甚至这个玩具在孩子的心里是非常廉价的。
 
　　但如果父母在孩子面前坚持原则，即使哭闹也不给买玩具，那么孩子慢慢就会明白：哭闹是没有用的。毕竟躺在地上哭，也是一件蛮费体力的事情。久而久之，孩子通过哭闹撒泼来索要玩具的行为就会慢慢减少，放弃这种“一哭二闹三打滚”的模式。
 
　　那么，问题又来了!孩子哭了也不给买玩具，难道就一直把他晾在那里哭吗?
 
　　不，我们有很多事情可以做，做到这几点，甚至接下来能避免孩子出现类似的行为。
 
　　1、进超市之前，给孩子打好预防针
 
　　去超市之前，告诉孩子今天你们要买的东西是什么，让孩子做到心中有数，哪些东西是可以买的，哪些东西不在购买计划范围内。
 
　　2、孩子要买玩具时，别急着说“不”
 
　　如果孩子非常喜欢某样玩具，先别急着拒绝，一个斩钉截铁的“不”字，很容易一下子点燃孩子的情绪。
 
　　可以先问问孩子，比如“你为什么想要这个小汽车?”孩子会觉得自己被父母理解了，就会愿意沟通，这时再针对实际情况告诉孩子买或不买这个玩具的理由。
 
　　比如告诉他：“可以!但是到你生日的时候再买可以吗?”
 
　　或者说：“这个月你买过玩具了，必须要到下个月才能买哦!”
 
　　当然，如果我们对孩子许下了这样的承诺，到了那天就一定要把玩具摆在孩子的面前。
 
　　延迟满足孩子的需求，既避免了一口拒绝孩子，又能让孩子对这份玩具有所期待。
 
　　也许我们当妈妈的，都会想把自己能力范围内的、最好的东西都买给孩子，但我们也要知道一点，有克制地爱孩子，才不会变成溺爱。
 
　　3、孩子仍哭闹，也别跟ta“一般见识”
 
　　如果孩子的情绪还没有平静下来，仍然哭闹不休，有的妈妈可能会控制不住情绪，火上心头，对孩子说：
 
　　“早知道不带你来了了!”
 
　　“就知道哭!你知道你现在多丢人吗?”
 
　　其实这样只会形成负面焦躁情绪的循环，导致情况的恶化。要知道孩子想要某样东西但被拒绝是很大的挫折，孩子需要的是理解，而非面对一个情绪失控的大人。
 
　　只有我们保持淡定，我们才能处理好孩子的情绪。
 
　　4、让孩子在别的事情上体会到成就感
 
　　孩子没有马上得到自己心爱的玩具，内心多多少少会有一点点失落感，这时妈妈可以转移孩子的注意力，使孩子在其他事情上得到愉悦感或成就感。（关注微信订阅号：朵妈亲子时光，聊聊亲子育儿那些事）
 
　　比如，问问孩子：
 
　　“宝贝我们今天要买多少个番茄来着?妈妈不记得了……”
 
　　“挑好苹果了，你帮妈妈拿去称好吗?”
 
　　超市里除了玩具之外，一定还有很多新鲜事物可以吸引孩子，不妨让孩子成为你的“小助手”，让他忙碌起来。这样孩子才不会每次到了超市，就只知道看玩具、买玩具。

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