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教育优秀的孩子？育儿专家的多个案例分析(4)

发布日期：2013-02-27 11:22:51编辑：Chen

有时候很多大人脱口而出骂孩子不是有意的，或者你伸手打了孩子后悔，这种事情会成为习惯，可能第一次以后我说的打是那种完全劈头盖脸疯狂的打，或者说特别伤害孩子的话，这个东西会变成习惯，会像一个魔法的开关，这个开关一旦开了，你就越来越顺，一定得在控制不住的时候先叫暂停。

我跟儿子之间有一个手势，越大他的手势越多，每次看见我开始要生气就这样叫我暂停，你就知道我知道了，我休息一下，当然这个是在之前我们两个没有发生不愉快时跟他聊，妈妈也是人，有时候我会发脾气，有时候也会变得很恐怖。如果发现我开始有这种情况，赶紧提醒我，所以他会提醒我。

　网友：您觉得什么样的教育是有意义的？

金韵蓉：有意义的教育应该是让孩子能够接收到的教育，有时候我们会发觉教育孩子使用的方法是错的或者期望值过高，这样的教育对孩子起不到作用。这个教育应该让孩子接收进去。

其次这个教育必须让孩子感受到是充满爱的，我之所以这样的教育是因为我爱你或者你是一个有价值的人，我再教育的同时希望让孩子体现到他个人的价值，听起来好像很大，其实跟我刚才说的东西一脉相承。我一直试图年轻的父母亲当我们教育孩子的时候千万不要忘记他也是独立的人，跟我们一样拥有作为一个人的权利。

主持人：现在非常明白您在儿子十岁的时候送到英国，也是对他独立人生的尊重。

金韵蓉：没错，那时候他去英国之前我跟他说有几件事情不能做，绝对不能吸毒，一旦碰了毒品对你的人生是毁灭性的伤害。你不能在18岁之前有性生活，因为你没有处理让女孩子怀孕的能力。除此之外，你要不要念书，你要要抽烟要不要喝酒，其实我根本看不见我也管不了，这个你自己做决定，因为你知道怎么样做是好的。有一些原则性的东西我是坚决不能让他碰，在这个原则之上我尊重你对自己的人生有主权。

主持人：您和您先生决定把儿子送到国外是处于什么样的考虑？

金韵蓉：我不知道我回答这个问题是不是大，听起来有一点虚荣，因为我跟我先生都曾经在国外受国教育，所以我们体会到在国外受教育对一个孩子的优势优点，作为一个父母亲我们希望以后孩子过得更好一些，把他送到国外受教育让他有更大的事业接触更多的人，接收到没有那么大压力的学习环境，我们觉得这是我们愿意给他的东西。当然并不以为这如果没有能力把孩子送到国外去就表示是失败的父母亲，我绝对没有这样的意思。

主持人：十岁的时候觉得他已经准备好了？

金韵蓉：绝对准备好了。

主持人：最后一个问题，您给我们的网友妈妈有什么样的建议？

金韵蓉：我的建议就是好好享受作为一个母亲的身份，孩子说长大就长大，可能当你发觉孩子三四岁的时候你被他缠的忙的不得了，真恨不得有一天我还记得我刚刚生完我儿子的时候，他在月子里面特别特别爱哭，后来我才知道他没吃饱，遵从孩子的规则三个小时喂一次，那时候真想把他塞回肚子里面，我不应该生这个孩子想把他塞回去。

孩子长大的速度太快了，我最想说的是，尽一切一切做一个好母亲优秀母亲的前提之前，请一定要听进去我说的话，享受你跟孩子的相处，孩子说长大就长大，我儿子28岁，只要他一召唤，我十月份有三天的休假或者两星期的休假，我们要不要一起度假，你们有没有空，我跟他爸爸再忙都说有空有空，我儿子一召唤我们连滚带爬就过去了，好好享受跟孩子在一起的时间。

当他能黏在你身边的时候真的是一种福分，你愿意享受这个阶段会发现亲子关系容易得多及减少抱怨多一点享受，这是我给妈妈们最好的建议，最中肯而且是最衷心的建议，享受跟孩子在一起的时间。

　
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